I digress. As you may notice, I am using capital letters, and for that, we can mark the ending of an era. I have had to practice to make capitals at the beginning of my sentences because, apparently, when you write a book, people like it to be grammatically correct and proper so they can know what's going on in your brain. The order is soothing and comfortable and as much as I've pushed back on it, I can see why some of it is necessary. This is a previous English teacher speaking, so don't tell anyone I cared more about the kid's ideas and flow more than I cared about their capitals and proper spelling. Getting an idea across in a relatable, convincing manner is something that has been lost. Just look at your Facebook and you'll understand. People unable to communicate civilly and logically--which I attribute directly to their high school English teachers, who teach "Communication Arts" or the Art of communication? But really slam punctuation and grammar down throats without teaching simultaneously that thoughtfully(i.e. convincingly) communicating ideas, and while listening intently to other's ideas (thus forming an educated opinion), is the number one human skill ever in the universe times infinity.
Unlike the Pythagorean theorem, in which I can not spell correctly for the life of me(prayer emoji hands for spellcheck), communicating ideas is a life skill that will actually be helpful, say, at the coffee shop or on snap chat. Wait. But you get the point.
I keep digressing. However, I haven't been on here for in forevs, so I have a lot of words all cooped up.
(But you just used the words FOREVS and you sound stupid! To that, I say, Your mom sounds stupid. )
So I'm changing. Like I have done lots of times on this blog. You will have, by now, seen me flutter between different ideas and thoughts and styles of writing and clothing. If you've stayed with me for any number years, you've watched me grow up on this blog. A lot can happen between 7 or so years. I am happy to say that I am not the same person I was those years back and I can look forward and predict that I will continue this trajectory of change. I like having a soft heart, unlike my previous self. I don't know if it comes from the gospel or if it comes from age--or perhaps it is the beauty of the gospel in aging. Both in body and Spirit. I have made peace with myself physically in many regards(I will admit freely that more work needs to happen in this department) and congruently, I don't need to have all the answers anymore. I don't need to change people's hearts. Oh the freedom there. For writers and mothers and wives and teachers and neighbors and sisters and co-workers. I can simply, enjoy you and your crazy idea without taking it personally and wanting to send hate emojis to your inbox.
(here is a picture of me being 33)
The 30's have been good to me in this way. Sure, my body is fluffy and saggy in many-a-place. My mind is sharper than it's ever been though, and I'm even using capital letters in writing!(sarcastic exclamatory, by the way). I guess none of it matters though when your identity arrows tell you not to find value in those items, which surely all go away in some regard as one ages. Again, there's a lot of freedom in that. To live out today and try and Glorify Christ and Enjoy Him Forever --as we tell each other catechism style in this house, on the daily. Some days I robotically say it and other days it throws me into waves of grace changing me and freeing me to do such things as overuse parenthetical remarks in a blog post. Or being kind to people. Both have value.
I don't know why I came here to say all that, but I needed to start writing here again. Just casually, with no pressure of a topic and I figured you guys would get that. I mean, if you're here still, then you are considered a friend that has some "seen some things" but doesn't let it keep us from our internet friendship. Made myself laugh…sounds all craigslist.
And with that, I'll talk to you all soon.