Thursday, January 10, 2013

when mothers fail on picture day.

on certain occasions, a mother must acknowledge her inability to make herself "look good" through her children. one of the best occasions to either say i'm awesome or i'm smoking drugs is picture day. a mother's one big chance to shine and tell the world that she can pull it together for one day. just one day out of the year.




i wanted to document this and say, layne's face is perfection. he doesn't take a bad picture. i found some way to sabotage his cuteness. it's a gift, really. you're welcome.
 at 6 am, in the dark, half asleep, i thought you really looked good, buddy.

i must really like that shirt because you wore it for last year's pictures too. this will make a great side by side progression of pictures. layne will say, look how baggy that shirt was on me in kindergarten! i really filled it out in the first grade. can you believe how resourceful my mother is that she would save that shirt until i was busting out of it in second grade?!

i'm not sure how the tie didn't get in your actually collar. did you take your tie off on the bus because you were embarrassed? why? i don't understand.

the giant tie crinkle at the bottom is my fault. i did kind of notice it but thought it would just "fall out" throughout the day. minor oversight.

a belt would have been a welcomed addition to the outfit. belts generally say things like, i'm profesh. i know where i'm going in life! my mom is not on drugs!

sure, getting your hair cut would have been nice, but when i combed it over in the morning with a splash of water, i thought you looked like sort of an asian rockstar. but when the water dried, it just became a hair helmet. this was definitely "my bad".

one day, you can do this to your children. until then, i'm going to spend some time making an appointment for a haircut and start planning your outfit for the next year. i'll even get you a belt.


41 comments:

  1. I laughed soooo hard at this post. i'm one of eight children and I can remember my mom on picture day frantically finding unwrinkled clothes and trying to get us to look picture worthy. It was always a hot mess. I remember my mom doing my hair and I knew it was going to look awful but she'd insist that it was perfection.

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  2. I am sorry. But hahahaha! I am actually taking the time to comment because this so funny! I thought I was the only one! I have done this. I have also forgotten the money and order form and received a speeding ticket as I run to the bank which is closer to school than my home. I have also just not had the picture taken at two years old and not really noticed the baby is a baby still when everyone else is progressing...she is three now. I just bought a new outfit...all other clothes are stained evidently? I will get an appt to have that photo actually taken...sometime. ;)

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  3. wow. this post is hilarious. I can't wait for motherhood....:-)

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  4. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. i can so relate. thanks!

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  5. this post made my day. thank you. very much.

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  6. Jami this is so funny. He looks adorable. I totally look the other way at wrinkly clothes all the time. I always believe they will 'fall out'

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  7. LOL! But, he is so cute, the picture works anyway!!!

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  8. This made me laugh. I love your sense of humor.

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  9. You make me laugh. Love your sense of humor and blatant honesty.

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  10. This made me laugh. Totally. I have looked at pictures of my kids and wondered what people must think of me. You should keep the shirt until next year.=) And then reuse it for the next kid.=)

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  11. dying.
    (my son looks like this allthedingdangtime.
    i am glad i'm not alone.)

    can't wait to see next year's belted version.

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  12. lolol!
    he is such a cutie patootie!
    all my school pictures involved BIG plastic(usually brown) glasses and a fresh poodle perm.
    add red and hair and freckles and you have picture perfection!
    oh, and retakes EVERY.SINGLE.TIME because of the large umbrellas reflecting in my glasses.
    sigh.
    hmmmmm...i have some serious questions for my mom now. :)
    xo

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  13. Best post EVER. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!

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  14. I think they should schedule picture day for that first day or week of school, when everyone is looking their best. Just seems cruel to save it for the dead of winter or whatever. Still, he looks totally cute, and I personally love the tie, in or out of the collar.

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  15. oh, you made me chuckle with that one. poor layne. i'm sure he'll look back at this memory fondly......someday.

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  16. Lol. I have soooo been there a few times! He is still a cutie, though!!!!

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  17. girl, you make me laugh! he is so handsome :)

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  18. Absolutely hilarious...period.

    Heather

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  19. Um you make me laugh every freaking post. Your kid is cute despite the fact that it looked like a blind one armed crack addict got him ready for school.;)

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  20. Only one word comes to mind: awesome.

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  21. I'm a long time blog lurker and I have to say this post was hilarious! I can't believe I'm the first commenter either. Hilarious!! Mainly because even with only a 2 year old, I know this is me in a few years. My favorite: "the giant tie crinkle at the bottom is my fault. i did kind of notice it but thought it would just "fall out" throughout the day. minor oversight." Love it!

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  22. This is your best post EVER!

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  23. Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard at your play by play. :) It's a good thing they don't give us grades on being mothers...based on how our kids perform or look in public. I always say God has an ingenious way of humbling me when we're in the grocery store or at a pediatrician's office.

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  24. Dying. For real.
    I wish I could have seen your reaction when you first saw this. You still rock.

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  25. Love it! My 8 year old nephew found some 70s tinted old man glasses at a garage sale two weeks before picture day. My SIL had no clue he snuck them into his bag (he bought them) until the pictures came out and there they were on his face in his school picture. Those crazy backgrounds they add didnt help either. I love that picture still

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  26. this post is hilarious! Laughed all the way through.

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  27. Too funny!
    My Brent wore the same shirt 2 years in a row and I never realized until the photos came back home and I went to put it in the frame. He looks identical and I knew the relatives were thinking, "Crazy Melissa, giving us the same school photo 2 years in a row--WTF?"

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  28. man, you are freakin' hilarious.

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  29. I almost peed my pants laughing. So funny.

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  30. the picture just cracks.me.up! i'm sure i'll probably do this someday too. i'd like to think that the best moms do.

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  31. I love it! you should do another "link up" contest for best school pictures-either ones of our kids or ourselves. I have some doosies. :)

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  32. So funny!... My mom always thought it would be a great idea to put curlers in my very thick hair the night before. So in the morning I would look like a completely different person. My classmates hardly recognized me.

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  33. Seriously...you are so funny! I just read this to my husband and we were both cracking up! :)
    Love it!

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  34. my penelope just snort laughed while nursing because she apparantly was laughing at me who was laughing at you. the world is built on such love and mockery. :) he is rumpled.. but the swagger is all there. and psshhh.. he knows french. who needs a belt?? :)

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  35. omg. cracking up. Just read the majority of this post to my husband while laughing the entire way... He didn't care much as he's watching the football game but whatevs. ha Great! We've all got some rough looking school pictures out there... maybe that'll be my next "baby shower advice book" tip... "plan for picture day" or "take one picture day off so you'll have something to look back at and laugh at" :)

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  36. I wrecked many a photo day for my mom. She would work so hard and lecture so much and by 9:15 I had PB & J in my hair, untucked shirt and a really strange smile.

    Best of luck next year!

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  37. OH I SO SO SO SO needed this laugh right now. Yes, you majorly missed the mark. And I thank you.

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