Monday, October 15, 2012

crying. armpit napkins. hotel living.

so i spoke at the influence conference this past weekend.
how crazy is it that bloggers are actually people!

on that note, conferences are difficult for hermits. they make us very tired. but even so, it was really fun to get to meet new friends, share ideas, and get even more excited about this little ditty called "blogging".

what i find more exhausting is constantly telling people on the airplane, "i'm famous!" and "i can't believe you don't know me!" that wore me out even before we stepped into the hotel.

speaking of hotel living...
i also got to hang with my bestie, emily. who sleeps with the bathroom light on. and she sleeps with 6 beanie babies around her head. it's weird. how am i supposed to sleep under these conditions? so basically, i just didn't. who cares anyway. i'm a mom...i don't need sleep.

anyway, i was one of the speakers. it will be online at some point. but actually, i don't want anyone to listen to it because it was my first speaking engagement ever and i made some dumb jokes and also made everyone cry. i mean, it's weird when you're just talking along and then you look into the audience and everyone is blotting their face.

it doesn't help that i shared the video below first. it kind of just primed the pump for the tears to come.

then what also will make everyone cry is when you cry so hard that you have to let the microphone hang by your side for like...oh...one whole minute until you can gather yourself enough to stop talking like kermit the frog.

if you can stare at someone crying for one minute and not cry, then you are an alien.

good thing i put napkins in my armpits. for reals, i did that. it's one thing to do it, and then it's another when you admit it. and you can hear yourself saying it in the microphone. and you're like...self, stop! but then yourself is like...but you love embarrassing yourself.

anyway, our dear friends, the parsons made this glorious video which shares a letter we wrote to each other recently. they came over and took pictures of normal day type stuff.

and gosh. the normal feels monumental when you almost lose it all.


the nato's' : a don't give up story. from WE ARE THE PARSONS on Vimeo.

make sure that you scroll down and turn the volume off on my music. and also, there is just audio at the very beginning. and after like 3 minutes it goes into the video. don't be alarmed.

p.s. the music is by andy gullahorn and his wife jill phillips called, "any other way".

108 comments:

  1. you know what's awkward? when i am listening to your blog playlist and then i open your blog to read this post and your playlist starts competing with itself like two beta fishes in a fish bowl. i bet that happens to you all the time.

    and oh. em. gee. i'm on your blog. #starstruck #celebritystatus #kidding #kindof

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    1. you know what's really awkward is when a college student hangs out in your room all weekend. LOL. not really. we are obsessed with you.

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    2. 1 time. i was in there 1 time. well okay, 2 times. i took a nap in your bed when i went back up to get my bags.

      that was a lie. i didn't.

      or did i? you'll never know.

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  2. *sobs* as she wipes away the tears.
    the Gospel is REAL! live in action RIGHT HERE.
    i hope you don't mind me sharing this video?
    my sister in law just filed for divorce from her cheating, unrepentant husband, but because of your story and God's amazing grace(not in that order) i feel like there's still hope. my heart breaks for them. :/
    xoxo

    ps you are so very beautiful.

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    1. that's so hard. when the spouse is unrepentant there aren't many options. but God is called redeemer for a reason. i pray that it works out in their marriage, but if not...God will redeem it somehow.

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  3. Um. I sorta kinda like you a lot. Thanks for coming and sharing your story. Thanks for being real. Thanks for being vulnerable. My face did serious hurt during your talk... Tears were interrupted by laughter and vice versa. My face can only take so much. Ha! Can't wait to read this blog "cover to cover" like I keep hearing happens. I kept trying to stalk you but alas you are pretty popular... But one day I might just have to kidnap you for coffee or candy apples. Something.

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    1. blairita! let us be friends in real life. we both have short hair, so that's one thing in common at least. also we're both awesome. haha.

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  4. i didn't even go to influence and the video had me bawling. so precious life is.

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  5. That couldn't have been a better way to start my morning. Wiping tears and snot. Thank you so much for sharing that....amazing.

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  6. you are beautiful friend. can't wait to hear the audio from this weekend.

    let's hang out.

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    1. I am! prairie village to be exact although it feels more like waldo. 75th and state line.

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  7. some time ago I emailed you after discovering your blog.. thanking you for sharing your life. my husband had an affair 5 years ago and we came through it all with Christ. you also inspired me to share our story.. which took awhile.. but we have started sharing and can't believe the work God has done.. in our marriage and others. thank you. God is good! also, what song is playing in your video??!!?
    Lindsey

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  8. some time ago I emailed you after discovering your blog.. thanking you for sharing your life. my husband had an affair 5 years ago and we came through it all with Christ. you also inspired me to share our story.. which took awhile.. but we have started sharing and can't believe the work God has done.. in our marriage and others. thank you. God is good! also, what song is playing in your video??!!?
    Lindsey

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  9. oh my word. bad idea to watch that at work. my little kindergartners are now staring at me as a wipe my eyes and blow snot out my nose. seriously such a beautiful video, but more importantly story. of god's unending love and forgiveness. your reward and glory will be majestic in heaven jami. thank you for being vulnerable and honest. it's because of women like you that every day annoyances just don't seem to hold the same level of severity. you are a gift girl, don't ever forget it.

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    1. just tell them it's happy tears. that's what i always say. your words are a gift. you're so sweet.

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  10. stop it. i'm crying into my coffee.

    let us know when your influence talk is online, okay? because i really want to see it.

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  11. stop it. i'm crying into my coffee.

    let us know when your influence talk is up, okay? i'd really love to see it.

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    Replies
    1. i will pray about it. haha. ok fine. i'll tell you when.

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  12. This was beautiful Jami. You are beautiful and so is your redemption story that God gave you.

    I have one regret from this past weekend. I ran up to give Emily a hug in the Sashes market on Thursday and totally ignored the cute quiet girl next to her.

    I'm pretty sure now that that was you. And because of MY hermit-like shyness, I missed out getting to know a really great girl.

    Next year?

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    1. i was being quiet, huh? no one ever says that about me. except i was sick. so maybe that's why. yes...let us now begin friendship.

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  13. Whoa. That sure rocked my heart... Thanks for the reminder that Jesus is real.

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  14. Listen, all I can think about is how absurdly large those cookies are. I will take one and pretend that it doesn't equivilate to three. uhthankyou. I'm sad I wasn't there to watch you cry in front of a large crowd...but I sent you my kermit cry. yourewelcome. Love you.

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    1. yes. i learned how to cry from the best kermit out there.

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  15. Loved the video! What is the name of song you have on the video?

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    1. ditto that. i want to know too. i tried to shazam it, but no luck.

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    2. ditto that. i tried shazaming it, and no luck.

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    3. the music is by andy gullahorn and his wife jill phillips called, "any other way"!

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    4. Jami! Open your bloggin playlist so I can Itunes all the songs! Pa pa please.....

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    5. Jami, open your bloggin playlist so I can Itunes all the songs....pa pa please.

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    6. i don't even know how to do this magical thing. tutorial?

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  16. What a beautiful video.
    Is it hard for you to keep telling the story? Cathartic? I think you are so inspiring and strong. You 'll say its because of your faith and all I can say is that you are lucky to have this faith.

    It was nice to put a voice to your words that I've been reading for the last two years. You didn't sound like I thought you would though! I know you're American of course, but your sense of humour is so familiar to me that I read your words in a British accent!

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    1. this weekend someone told me i needed to do videos from time to time so people know how i really talk and act. haha! maybe i will. i think it's funny thought that you thought i was british. i wish!

      telling the story of our marriage is telling the story of Gods grace and forgiveness and that He is real. and that just never ever gets old. i tell the story a lot and sometimes i forget that it was monumental. so when you say all that in front of a group, it kind of just all comes out in tears. it's bittersweet. but i'm ok with that. i'll never stop talking about it! :)

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    2. Haha that's hilarious about you being British. And I only want videos if you are doing the Lawrence Welk skit. just sayin... - Meg

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    4. Heh, I grew up wishing I was American! I used to watch 'Saved by the Bell' and wish I could be a cheerleader and attend an American high school. Being British isn't cool as far as I am concerned. Repression of emotions, big noses and wonky teeth. Massive class stratification and fox hunting?
      Our saving grace is quite possibly the BBC, and the NHS... Oh, and Daniel Craig and Colin Firth.
      Yes, do more videos Jami. You inspire! X

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  17. Oh that video. What grace. What love. Beautiful.

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  18. that was amazing. What a beautiful video. God is so so so good.

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  19. Congrats on a successful event! What a cool opportunity for God to use you and your story.

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  20. jami! i balled like a baby during that video. thank you so much for doing that. i know so many women right now that need to see it and i needed to be reminded myself. beautiful.

    p.s. funny story. i was talking to a girl in the small group we host about this funny thing on instagram i saw. i said, "so this girl whose blog i read, jami, she wrote on a chalkboard wall, "i wanna make love in this club...-usher and song of solomon" and we laughed out lout. and drew said, "jami nato?" (you're a household name obvs) and she said" stop it. as in mark and jami nato from KC?" apparently her parents are neighbors with your inlaws. hope patterson. so i was able to share with her how i know you. and it's kind of weird b/c we've never met and you've impacted my life in such a big way. i think she found that kind of strange but i'm ok with that!

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    1. hope is in your small group?!!! how crazy and awesome. tell her hi. she is so great. how small the world is.

      and ya, i feel like i know you better than i probably really do. you are a real life friend to me. love to you.

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  21. You didn't sound like Kermit the frog, you sounded like Kristen Wiig preaching the gospel. DUH. Which was kinda weird actually. But - my other favorite part was when your arm pit tissue actually fell out of your armpit and onto the floor. Then you used it to blot your face. Just kidding. Or did you really do that? Maybe you did. Anyway, it was super cool chatting with you in real life. And please don't ask me to watch that video again. I don't want to cry anymore. But for real, I love your story. I also love that now every time I read one of your posts I will picture Kristen Wiig reciting it and it will make me laugh-cry. The end.

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  22. thank you for my morning cry session.

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  23. thank you for my morning cry session. love you.

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  24. I got to go to influence and completely meant to say hi to you!!! the weekend went too fast. so I'll say hi now. - i love your blog. i love your story and that video had me in tears!

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  25. whelp. i cried. i love that you're so willing to share your story. thanks for always being such an encouragement.

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  26. I loved this! Your story is impacting many people and that is only done through Christ who is living and active! Love starts as a feeling and then turns into a choice....I choose God too! If I continue to go to Him for my every need and not my husband, then that love for my husband comes naturally. You know how I know all this is real, because no matter the different ways we get there, we feel the exact same way when we do. Some of the things you write are exactly what I feel ( but put much more eloquently). But it has my sarcastic humor in it! Thank you for being real.

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  27. My goodness. (I hoard bloggers on Bloglovin' because a. I can, b. I always hope I'll learn something, c. I hope I can make friends with all these folks, and d. because your blog was cute and drew me in.) This video...WOW. I have someone precious in my life who needs THIS hope today!

    Also, our sermon at church on Sunday was about making an idol out of your spouse/marriage, so I'm SO excited that y'all told each other second, only after God.

    You are amazing. Glad I didn't weep in my office. Thankful that the Lord is using YOU.

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  29. Welp...just turned off your CA-RA-ZY music. Thank goodness. Now I can tell you how blessed I was by the Gospel this weekend. Thanks for the spanking. It was good to meet you and chat about Jesus, my own issues with sweat, and nautical clothing. You rock.

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  30. So thankful for stumbling across this. I tend to hoard bloggers on Bloglovin' for several reasons. A. Because I can. B. Because I hope to be friends with each of them. C. I hope to learn something/anything. D. So many pretty blog decorations always draw me in! ;)

    I needed to see this. Someone (or two someones) precious in my life NEEDS this encouragement. THANK YOU for sharing your story. Glad I didn't weep at work. Thankful for YOU and your transparency.

    Our message at church on Sunday was about making your spouse/marriage an idol, so it made my heart SO glad to hear y'all tell each other that you will love God first and most and then love each other.

    THANKFUL.

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  31. beanie babies. when will that joke ever die?

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    1. oh good question. it will never die. as long as you collect them, i will make fun of them.

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    2. i will shamefully (?) or proudly (?) admit that i collected beanie babies back in the day too.
      i'm so selfish with them that i keep them in a big bag and DON'T let my kids play with them.
      i still have some of those little ones from mcd's still in the packaging.
      maybe they'll be worth something... like 25 cents one day?!?!!
      and i can sell them on ebay and make millions... of cents!!!!
      ha ha ha ha ha!

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  32. Wowza. Beautiful story, beautiful family, beautiful story of our Savior's love. That should totally be your describe this video in 10 words or less description.

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  33. i'm sobbing. thanks a lot. oh and andy gullahorn... love that song. the video was perfect. thanks for making me glad i wasn't at influence because this cry is uber embarrassing... i'm relieved it's nap time and i'm sitting alone.

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    1. naptime is the best time for crying. :)

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  34. really beautiful story.
    thanks for sharing.
    and for being the type of person who puts napkins in her armpits AND shares about it! ;)

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  35. i loved this and i loved meeting you this weekend! thanks for looking past my super awkward "omg you're jami nato!" hug at the beginning. also, i think i never even said hi to emily, which was super rude. i should go read her blog now.
    and also, your session was easily my favorite. you did such an awesome job and i was thankful to hear the gospel in such a powerful way.

    and you never mentioned that you cussed. just sayin'.

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    1. you were my favorite. don't tell anyone. :)

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  36. Tissues and armpit napkins.
    2 things that were a must reading/viewing this post.
    Please listen to, download, etc. Hilary Weeks Beautiful Heartbreak and may the lyrics bless you the way they have me.
    Thanks for the reminder WE can do the HARD things!

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  37. i mean, how could you not cry with that video?
    whoa.
    powerful stuff.
    thank you for sharing.

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  38. please tell me you saved the napkins. also, i think the first time i really understood what redemption meant was in small group when you said, "he doesn't deserve for me to forgive him, but i don't deserve for Jesus to forgive me."

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  39. Not going to lie, totally had no clue who you were when I arrived at Influence, but I went to your sesh and was blown away. I got to see the armpit napkins in real life! Lucky me!! ;)

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    1. yes, not everyone can say they saw the armpit napkins. lucky you! it was really good to meet you this weekend.

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  40. thank you for being willing to put your lives out there...praise God...my heart is full of thankfulness watching this beautiful story of God's redeeming love...

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  41. thank you for putting your lives out there...praise God for your story!

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  42. Do you follow momastery.com ? She received The News 3 weeks ago and just shared the story on her blog. While she doesn't exactly say what it is I can only assume it is similar to your story. I think she would benefit greatly from hearing your story. I posted your blog on her FB page so hopefully she'll read it. If you feel led to, I'm sure you reaching out to her would only do good.

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    1. i don't follow her. it sounds terrible though. :(

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  43. So beautiful! Thank you for sharing! Also, mind sharing where you got that camera canvas? I need it!

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    1. lindsay at pen and paints made it for me. google her. you will die from cuteness.

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  44. thank you.SO much...incredible.... yeah.

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  45. thank you.SO much...incredible.... yeah.

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  46. girl, whew!
    God is so, so good.

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  47. That video is priceless. So beautiful and raw and lovely. <3

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  48. I really do enjoy having a ridiculous amount of snot come out of my face, my husband thinks its super attractive:)

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  49. So glad that you posted who wrote/performed that song because I was wondering. Ironic because in the weeks after our mess, one of Jill Phillips' CDs totally ministered to my heart.
    BTW - Please tell me that there is going to be VIDEO of you speaking at Influence. I want to witness the whole tissues/armpit napkins debacle.

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    Replies
    1. there's not a video. thank the Lord. just audio. but you will be able to imagine me being stupid...

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  50. frig...
    i'm glad i'm home alone right now.
    well, with my three year old but she's keeping herself busy whilst i wipe the ugly tears away.
    this was beautiful.
    raw and beauty filled.
    thanks for sharing.
    wish i could have been at influence.
    i need to share this video with a friend that's going through something sorta similar right now.
    thanks for sharing your heart!

    and to lighten things up a bit...
    you left the price sticker on the bottom of your urban outfitters birdie cup measure.
    don't you wash that stuff?!?!
    hahahahaha!

    xoxoxo
    (snotty ugly hugs and kisses)
    (and... did you like that i used the word frig again?! hey? lol)

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    Replies
    1. i hand wash those dishes. and also, i never use them. they just sit on my window sill and look pretty most of the time! ha.

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  51. man i have a lot to say today! first, loved the video. i am pretty excited to see the session from influene so please let us know when it is up. i am determined to go next year! next, love the penandpaint canvas. also, were those your choc. chip oatmeal cookies? i make those at least once per week...no joke. though, i think you are using a bigger scoop than me because those look ginormous. lastly, i hope you realize how many people you are pointing towards christ. was an amazing gift and responsibility. thanks for sharing. hope to meet you next year at influence.

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    1. you are so sweet!
      these are the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies on my blog. i make them hilariously large (like with an ice scream scooper) so you're like....what? i only ate 1. but really you ate 4.
      also, i make cookies like every day. no exaggeration. so join the club.

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  52. It took me exactly 59 seconds before I started crying... hahaha!

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  53. i watched that video yesterday. so touching and so encouraging. thanks for posting. i can't wait to hear your talk from influence. i think if i wasn't like 10 months pregnant i would've been there.

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  54. Can I just say that your blog is a lot easier to read now with the bigger font in black? :) Finally, my bat eyes don't have to strain to read your words. Eye doctors everywhere are thanking you. :)

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  55. Love this. Love the hope you and your family represent. Thanks so much for being so transparent and honest. Oh and can I just say, I seriously love your blog. (-;

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    1. Oh! This is her! This is my bff DL that we took the pouty lips/crazy eye photo for at Influence. Jami, meet DL. DL, Jami. Talk amongst yourselves. Here's a topic: the shocking number of Ryan Gosling tumblr blogs on the internet. Go.

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    2. Oh! This is her! This is my bff DL that we took the pouty lips/crazy eye photo for at Influence. Jami, meet DL. DL, Jami. Talk amongst yourselves. Here's a topic: the shocking number of Ryan Gosling tumblr blogs on the internet. Go.

      Delete
  56. i don't know why i can't reply to your comment, but wanted to say sorry for the absurd amount of typos. clearly i meant influence and also what not was at the end.....sorry!

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  57. Jami.. I am so glad I was finally able to meet you. What a blessing you have been in my life. Although I never not struggled with the same things as you your obedience for Christ is amazing. thank you for being Jesus when I need to see him. again sorry for the creeper photos... But I had to get over my "OMG it's Jami Nato"

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  58. The video was beautiful, Jamie. I have so many friends having trouble in their marriage for various reasons, but when I hear their stories I realize how invaluable it is for people in the body of Christ to be open about sharing their struggles. So many times they feel isolated and alone, like they are the only ones. Thank God for your openness and honesty. We are hear to help and build up one another.

    Also, seeing you in your home and such; you are remind me of my sister. Similar story and same decor. ;)

    Your fellow IG stalker,
    Anna Lokey

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  59. Thank you!!! God is so good. Thank you for being willing!! Thank you.

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  60. deezam. the gospel IS real.
    loved this, and was blessed to watch the video, and weep, with my husband. i sure do love you, fancy jami. grateful for your delight in sharing the truth of christ and his redemption. bam.

    xo

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  61. Thank you for sharing that beautiful video. It was so touching and real. You have beautiful family and truly are blessed.

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  62. Thank you for sharing that beautiful video. It was so touching and real. You have a beautiful family and are truly blessed.

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  63. Thank you so much for sharing your story and through the video and your blog your daily life with us. It really means a lot to me. I dont know if that is weird. Motherhood can be so isolating and alone. I am married to a great guy and we have a very uneventful marriage: nothing heartbreaking and no sneak away vacations either. just day in and day out. Watching your video this morning inspired me: that this is now and we are making baby steps and it is all worth it. Thanks for being a freind jami.

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  64. I am really looking forward to hearing your session!

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  65. you are amazing and your story is SO powerful! I don't really have the words to say what your story has done in me tonight, but the Holy Spirit has just broken me just sitting here in front of my computer.

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  66. WOW! This is amazing! My heart is in my throat! My world was rocked in May. Things are slowly getting back to normal, but there is so much left to be done. You inspire me. Thank you for this beautiful glimpse into your day and into HIS Grace!

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