it's summa time. and it's hot. really hot. temperatures in triple digits which means, everyone's clothes just melt off.
ya, because people don't wear a lot of clothes in the summer.
i am slightly sensitive to this, as... well, you know our story. my husband had an affair and i am tender to the effects of clothes-less women have on men. not to say this is what caused the affair AT ALL. but after many-an-honest conversation, i see how much work it is to keep his mind pure. so i feel like i should address some things concerning our dressing skills. or skillz, if you are under 18.
and i'm not talking to non-believers here. i don't expect everyone to take this to heart if they don't know the Lord. if you don't know Jesus and you like to dress half-naked, the issue isn't your outfit, there's a much larger issue to discuss. God wants your heart. the outfit change will come later.
what i am concerned about is christian women wearing outrageously sexy things. in the public arena. girls night or on a date, at the pool or at the mall, at the gym or at the strip club. just kidding on that last one.
and ya, this a super touchy subject and addressing it can be seen as being judgmental. i totally get that. i don't like being told that my favorite dress or t-shirt isn't going to cut it either. but we're all in this together. let's quit avoiding the topic and straight up look it in the eye under a biblical umbrella.
if our chief goal in this life is to glorify Christ with everything we have: our minds, our bodies, our activities, our words, everything...then why do we act as if we haven't encountered Jesus when we slip on the skimpy bikini, workout outfit, dress, deep cut shirt?
there is a disconnect.
worse than that, we are taking part in spurring on lustful thoughts by others. while we think we're harmlessly getting less tan lines, other people are slapped in the face with our body.
by no means is it our fault that they are having lustful thoughts, it is their own heart. but why do we throw logs on the fire? why do we you take part in that act of drawing their heart towards sin.
honey, what's it like for a guy. like at a swimming pool or something?
nato looks at me like...really? you want to know?
no, i kind of don't. because it might make me feel bad about my outfit choices.
nato says: if i'm a guy that's not training my mind to be pure and i'm struggling with lust and pornography(and if studies show that that's 70% of guys, then that's a lot of men!), then i would be LOOKING for women to stare at. and i would probably watch them basically the whole time and keep their image in my brain for a while. it's gross and embarrassing but it's true of men in this situation.
if i see someone half-dressed, i turn away immediately and do not do a second glance. but that's taken a lot of heart change and training and praying.
it is baffling that we, who are followers of christ, "strut our stuff". why are we strutting? do we need attention? find your self worth in Christ who is sufficient for all your needs, even your deep need for approval and to feel affirmed by men or women. give that up for something that will satisfy your soul. not leave you wanting more. you will never get enough attention and affirmation to make you happy.
if you are a skinny winner/have a rockin' bod, i applaud you. but being healthy and vibrant and in good shape is to honor Christ. to have energy to accomplish His goals. our clothes don't accomplish much and will never. they can, however, tear down very quickly.
some of you are like. great! i have to wear a potato sack!
or like it's my fault that they are like that?!
don't get defensive on me. sometimes we christians work in extremes. it's this OR that. instead we can say, it isn't our fault when people choose to live in lust or cheat or whatever...
A N D
i will not be a stumbling block for my brother.
don't hear me saying that you need to burn your super cleavage shirts and throw away your G-strings. i love my american flag g-string... my husband was just like...where is this magic?! ya, i don't have one, babe. lo siento.
so keep those crazy things for the bedroom not the local pool my friends, your husband will thank you and so will mine.
i only ask that we all take a look at our clothing and ask ourselves if it is God honoring. i don't want you to think you must look homely or unattractive or that you can't feel pretty. i don't want you to hear me saying that there is a dress code and it's this magic list of can and can-nots. but what is going on in our hearts that we would need attention from others so much so, that we disregard honoring our fellow sisters in christ, brothers in christ, and our savior?
it is not just a sexy outfit that makes you "feel good about yourself", it is generally so much more. is it your need for attention? is it saying to God that He is not sufficient for you? is it you asking for affirmation in the wrong places?
for me, if i'm wearing something like this...those questions are good for me to ask.
and i say that i'm struggling right along side of all of you. i am guilty of dumb outfit choices. i am guilty of playing a role in putting a stumbling block in front of people. i'm not perfect, i don't have all the answers on this and i for sure need to work on it too.
but is is on my heart and i need to be honest about women who follow Jesus while our outfits say something completely different. it's happening everywhere, even in my closet, and it needs to stop.
let us find our worth and value in the Person of Jesus Christ, not anything else. let us be confident in the beauty of God shining through us so that we need not use our bodies to show that we are worth something. outer beauty is fleeting! stop chasing it.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
now read part 2 of the trouble with looking sexy
p.s. i welcome comments even if you don't agree with me. everyone has an opinion and probably some of you will disagree with me. we can still be friends.