Tuesday, July 19, 2011

resources for mothers: let's get our booties in gear.

i loved all the input i got from you guys on ways to intentionally mother, mentor, disciple your children. so here is a sweet list of ways to accomplish this and also resources to lovingly give you a kick in the bootie.


But first, have you read this article? whoa. i got a slap on the hand. read this article first and then come back here. i'll wait.
motherhood is a calling, not a hobby


ok, glad you're back. did you enjoy your spankin'?

so ya, here is a the list compiled and summarized from your comments and from other women i "interviewed"... via texting. LOL. but seriously.

14 ways to mentor your child:
1. go to church regularly. not so a sunday school teacher can tell your child about Jesus(which, yes, will happen hopefully), but to show them the importance of living together in a christ-like community.

2. read  the bible with your child regularly. a lot of you mentioned the Jesus storybook bible.

we love this too. hands down, i think it is the best children's bible out there. and sometimes i cry when reading it...but whatevs.

3. memorize scripture with your child. for example, have a verse of the week. write it on a chalkboard. practice it in the morning and at night. apply those verses to every day situations...i.e. when they're afraid, when they need an attitude change, when they need to show grattitude.

4. talk often about heart motivations, which leads to bad beahviour.

5. dream, plan, and pray about what you want to see in your family. write it down and pray it through.

6. remind children that obedience is obedience if it is: all the way, right away, and with a happy heart. if it is not all those things, it demands a consequence.

7. put your iphone away. or is it your computer, blog, craft, cleaning, etc? BE PRESENT when interacting with your child.

8. pray with your child. not just at bedtime. pray through rough situations with them.thank God for fun things. help them to know how to repent. pray that your child experiences the Gospel in a real way.

9. ask your child for forgiveness when you mess up. tell them what heart motivations led you to your behavior. model repentance.

10. journal your life honestly. journal your prayers and dreams for your children. this could be done once a year on their birthday. or more often.

11. eat dinner together as a family. no TV. no phones. no distractions. talk about their day...play high and low. what was your high today and what was your low?

12. build encouragement into your kids. build them up during the day or around the dinner table.say encouraging things to them alone and  in front of others.

13. go through "catechism" questions with your children. it may seem outdated (actually, up until last year i thought it was just for catholics), but the word catechism just means to teach a biblical truth in an orderly way. it is amazing how many of us don't know the answer to simple biblical truths as we reach adulthood. 

14. model charecter traits you want to see in your children. ask God to help you model them. if you don't like it when your kid lies, don't lie to them. if you want your kids to be grateful, don't complain constantly. the list goes on and on.


b o o k s:
the mission of motherhood by sally clarkson




loving the little years by rachel janovic




professionalizing motherhood by jill savage




big truths for young hearts by bruce ware



grace based parenting by tim kimmel




m u s i c:
seeds of worship




so will you commit to doing one new thing from this list this month? in the comment section let me know what it is. i will check in with you later in the month and see how you're doing. and maybe in a couple weeks i'll host a linky party and we can all see how you are accomplishing these things. we can encourage one another in this process and get ideas to make a sometimes daunting task seem doable.

 i'm really excited about this. and maybe i should put an exclamation point on the end of that, but i feel like they're overused. ha. i mean, HA!

anyway,
i have a couple in mind that i want to start doing from this list and i pray that you are moved to do the same. we need to stop mothering on autopilot!

60 comments:

  1. what an encouraging post jami.
    i'm not a mama.
    but hopefully, one day.

    but i am the person who orders books for our resource table at church, and I JUST ordered Grace Based Parenting yesterday (our kids leader suggested it)

    we also have given away this book:
    http://www.amazon.com/Give-Them-Grace-Dazzling-Jesus/dp/1433520095/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311109207&sr=8-1

    Like a gagillion copies.
    The parents that have read it, RAVE about it.

    I may have to snag a copy for myself this time! :)

    Just one more to share with you - wish I could recommend it based on my own knowledge, but I'm pretty certain it is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was looking at Grace Based Parenting earlier today--so I went ahead and bought it! And which Seeds worship one do you guys like?

    ReplyDelete
  3. awesome, awesome post. thanks for the challenge and the encouragement!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would really like to start reading Grace based parenting. I would totally do that with you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. While I don't have kids yet, I realize that many of these things are foundational even before kids. I'm pledging to put down my iPhone more. To turn off the TV when eating dinner with my husband, and to be more purposeful in studying the bible and praying together.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the spanking. I love the list. It is super helpful and I will use it often. This month I'm going to work on praying throughout the day with leighton. Especially through hard situations. We're going through a rebellious stage right now so I would definitely like to model prayer through that. Thanks so much for the encouragement. You, my friend, are a true gift.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That article was really powerful. I think it gave me more of a slap in the face, but I needed it. Thanks for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i just read that article yesterday. maybe god's trying to tell me something. huh? my babe is only 6 months old. but we read the storybook bible. awe-some. and i am usually a balling mess my the end. and i will definately be buying the seeds family worship music.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Another GREAT book is "rite of passage parenting" by walker moore. Such great ideas for things to do to grow your children into responsible Christ-like adults. We LOVE the seeds worship songs! I've given them as gifts to several people! One great thing about them is that when you order them you actually get two copies of each cd, one to keep and one to give! Fortunately my kids get such an awesome Christ centered education it kinda makes my job of discipling my kids easy (they memorize chapters of scripture and the catechism) so I do a lot of reinforcement of that but I definitely need to PRACTICE and work on modeling all of it at home. That is what I'm going to work on. Seriously, pray for me :). Thanks for this awesome list. I'm so blessed to have friends who encourage me and hold me accountable to my walk in Faith!
    Love, jenn

    ReplyDelete
  10. I just wrote this: http://lillyandthebrothers.blogspot.com/2011/07/they-just-want-to-be-with-me.html
    and then read your post.
    Slammed.
    In a good way.
    Thank you for sharing this.
    I can't wait to dive in.
    Love from,
    Greta

    ReplyDelete
  11. commited. done. and thank you. just reserved grace based parenting at my local library. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love this. Every single word. First let me say, my awesome husband sent me the link to that article last week (he loves John Piper) with a note that said "Thanks for not making our kids your hobby." Probably the best thing he's ever said to me.
    I love the idea of holding each other accountable and encouraging each other in this.
    I'm committing to the catechism questions this month. And thanks for the book recommendations :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. My children are grown and I have 7 beautiful grandchildren. My faith has always been VERY important to me. I printed this list to give to my daughters. It's so important for God, grace and faith to be in the lives of our children.Thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete
  14. these are such great ideas! i'm committing, too. and i just finished "to train up a child", which i know is controversial, but i really liked their perspective on speaking about the Lord to your children while not making them religious parrots or show-offs so we can look like good parents. anyways...all that to say i totally agree with you and i'm in!

    ReplyDelete
  15. thank you for this. I am committed to work on this list. So, so important. I'm so guilty of neglecting so many of these things...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Great post, Jami!

    I think I'm going to work on reading the bible more often with my little guy. I also want us to stop watching the news while eating dinner and focus more on conversation. It's always on in the background...blech! Sidenote: My Bible study group just got done reading The Mission of Motherhood, and we enjoyed it quite a bit! Lots of good takeaway points.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you for this! I want to do ALL of these, but we'll start out with a few and tackle them all over time. We're doing these:
    -Learn a verse together
    -Read the bible together EVERY DAY
    -Pray more with my daughter
    -Be present when interacting with her!

    Thank you again and I definitely want to look into some of those books!

    ReplyDelete
  18. im back in the game....ha...i used to memorize scripture with mclean when she was like 18 months old. it was CRAZY what she remembered. why did we quit??? too many moves? too many distractions? NO excuse....I will pick back up with writing the word on her little heart. hazey's too.

    ReplyDelete
  19. stellar post. i commit to reading the bible with both kiddos every day. many of these things on the list (including catechisms which ARE catchy and awesome) i have done at one point or another but have totally fallen off the bandwagon!

    ReplyDelete
  20. great post. i am pretty sure i need to be more present in my interactions with my girls. it is so easy to let things get in the way. thanks for the book suggestions. going to start reading immediatley. on a semi-unrelated note....i am an overuser of exclamation points. i can't stop myself!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. this is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ha)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love the post. Thanks for the kids bible, Emma has totally out grown our current one and I just ordered this one. I am excited to read it with her!

    ReplyDelete
  23. SOOOOOOOOOOOO needed to read this today. Thankyouverymuch. Great post...off to order some books! :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Loved this.

    I'm actually *leading* (I use that term very loosely) a book study on The Mission of Motherhood right now. Love. that. book. And we're going through Grace Based Parenting with a group from church. :) Professionalizing Motherhood is one of my fave's as well.

    Thanks for doing this. It's very encouraging. I think it's so important to constantly be reassessing our jobs as Mama's and keeping things in perspective. :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. ahhhhh! love this post! I do some of these with the boys but certainly not all. We are going to do scripture memorization together and I am going to be more intentional about praying for the dreams of my boys and our family! Thanks for the great post!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I've been doing that a lot lately--addressing the HEART issues over the behavior. It's really the key, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  27. thanks for sharing this Jami.. i know God used you to share this with me. I am so living on auto pilot and not in a good way. I am going to pray over what you said and find out what God wants me to work on first! I have already read mission to motherhood!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Not a mommy yet, but I love this post and I love that article! Though I am not a mommy, I am a pre-school worship leader at my church (our church use the Jesus Storybook Bible too) and I see a lot of applicable things I could use in my leading. I am going to try to be more encouraging to the kids and build them up in the 40 minutes I get to spend with them each Sunday. Also, I'm going to begin praying and journaling about my future family :) Lovely post!

    ReplyDelete
  29. This is so amazing. Thank you for posting this.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I blogged about this today! thanks for sharing love you
    http://boermanramblings.blogspot.com/2011/07/wiww-20-its-hot-out-and-challenge.html

    ReplyDelete
  31. I definitely need to be more present with my babes. And pray for them/with them more than just at bedtime. Thanks for a great post! Also, I'm doing a study with a girlfriend with the book "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney. Good stuff so far...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Woo, this is an amazing post, and article. I'm not a mama, but I'm an Auntie, so this topic is just as applicable to me. I emailed my girlfriends and sisters links to your blog and the article. We SHOULD be looking at this as "My hands are full of good things."

    Amen 100% Jami!


    Christina from Ca

    ReplyDelete
  33. #7... my goal is to be more present. My baby is only 5 months old... but my droid cell phone is no stranger to him. :) I definitely spend a ton of time with him (been a stay at home mom since he was born) but will be getting back to work in the fall... so my goal is to 'do more' in those times we are together.

    ReplyDelete
  34. This was such a great post. 6 & 7 are what I'm working on. And I'm just about to start Loving the Little Years! Thsnks for the encouraging post Jami!

    ReplyDelete
  35. You are amazing and always inspiring. I have all these good intentions in regards to how I want to better parent my kids and then I let life get in the way- WHY do I do that?! This post was a kick in the pants that I SO needed, I want to print out the whole post and hang it around the house to remind me what I'm working on!
    Just put myself on the waiting list for Grace Based Parenting at my library and stuck the Jesus Storybook bible in my amazon cart.
    My kids deserve this! <3 Thank you, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. This was terrific. And that was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you for issuing this challenge.

    My daughter is 15 months old, and I have been feeling that I need to be praying with her more. All the time. Throughout the day about all the good things and the frustrating things. So that is my goal this week, to pray with her more.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Love this post. So inspired. So adding these books to my library wait list!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thank you for this post! I have so needed it. I recently starting being a full time Momma and I'm so struggling! I needed this, I need to know that it is a calling! My goal from your list is #7, be present!

    ReplyDelete
  39. thank you so much jami! love this post. have you read those books? any recommendations for where to start?

    www.valley-mama.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  40. hey @jill, i would say start with loving the little years. i have not read all of them, but plan to!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Great post, and great reminders of how to try and always be present in our children's lives. trying to teach and help our children to know god, will only help us to keep our relationship with him on a daily basis. Good stuff

    ReplyDelete
  42. love this post. i read the other last week and was so interested in the suggestions...let's just say the article was timely as we are having some serious three year old stubbornness (and maybe some mommy crankiness, too) around here. I ordered the family seeds cds and am loving them, and I'm reading two of the books you suggested already...woohoo. thanks for the encouragement... the ones i'm going to work on the most are praying for my kiddos and modeling the character i want to see in them.

    ReplyDelete
  43. jami i'm such a ditz for not thinking to hook up with you in ks city--although this trip we were pretty tight on time.

    yes, we were at westside local. oh my gosh. best food i have had in a really long time. i can tell i have been eating junk.

    so next time i'm up there can we hang?? not sure when it will be but i'll connect with you before then! xo

    ReplyDelete
  44. thanks for the post. just the things us mommies need to hear over and over again, to remind us, to encourage us, to direct us. my sister is reading grace based parenting too- think i'll snag her copy when she's done- if she'll part with it!

    ReplyDelete
  45. such a sweet note on my blog....thank you for stopping by and leaving a note! i can't wait to check out your blog. your last post on parenting is amazing - these are books i've just sat discussing with friends.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Thanks for the encouragement. I need to put down my iPhone more often and just be with them. Good reminder!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Jami...you are a seed of encouragement...I love reading how inspired all these mama's are...myself included. We use the Westminster shorter catechism for my 7yr. old...and although it is initial memorization I am amazed how he recalls the answers to the questions when we have discussions to give a reason for the hope that he has...he is totally getting it! Also, we do more basic, but scripture grounded, questions for my 5 and 2 yr. old. My 5 yr. old son has autism, and is a visual learner, but for some reason does awesome with his questions...believe it or not even our 13 mos. old has started...we hold up the Bible and say "What is God's Word..and in his munchkin voice he says "Bible!" I am reading The Mission of Motherhood for the second time...yes it is that good.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Excellent list! I plan on memorizing scripture, alone and with my older son. And I also plan to put down the iphone! They see me pick it up WAY too much.

    ReplyDelete
  49. We started the memorization already...it's been awesome for all of us (esp. me since I don't excel in this Jesus ordained area). Our memory process is this: find a verse that your kids (or you) really need to know for life application i.e. lying, loving, honoring YOUR MOTHER, etc. Then get like 7 sheets of paper and write a few words on each. Let the babes color all over the words as you continue to say them. Upon color completion, make up crazy hand signs/movements to reinforce the words. THEN, we play scavenger hunt with all the pages. Hide them in different places, give the kids clues to where they are, and when they bring them to you repeat what you have so far. Repitition over and over baby. Treats afterward. It's been amazing in times of discipline and encouragement. Also, pretty cool to praise them with the verses when they've chosen to do something right. Awesomeness alll around.

    I'm going to challenge myself on teaching my kids the people in the bible, another area in which I suck. I'm like "Who did WHAT??!!"

    ReplyDelete
  50. Thank you for your post. I needed that today. :) I actually had been looking for a Bible to read to the kiddos so I'm excited about checking out the Jesus Storybook Bible. We will probably go tonight. To make it offical... I commit to reading the Bible to my children every night. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  51. jami, thanks for encouraging us (me) to pursue motherhood more intentionally. i have really been thinking about that more since your original post about it. i have made my own little "to do" list- no tv on when the kids are awake, quiet time before my own personal tv time (do you see a theme?!). anyways, from your list, the two i want to work on is "be present" and "journaling" which might take the form of blogging. looking forward to the accountability!

    ReplyDelete
  52. hi jami, i'm starting a blog (thanx for the inspiration). help? how did you set up those picture collages in your blog (with 9 little snapshots all stuck together)? need to do that!
    liz

    ReplyDelete
  53. hey lizz, i use picasa (by google)for collages. it's a free picture storage program and i heart it.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thanks for this post! I just finished Loving the Little Years and have read The Mission of Motherhood. Both were great. Another good one is Spiritual Parenting by Michelle Anthony. I'll be looking into the others on your list-thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  55. spanked and committed.

    what now.

    love this post.

    need some penelope pictures A-SAP

    ReplyDelete
  56. Hi, Jami! I just found your blog and am SO glad I did.

    Do you have the Storybook Bible? Awesome children's Bible that really emphasizes grace.

    Oh, and your description of yourself totally make me laugh. Sometimes I cuss and I really love Jesus, too. Aaaand we have the same name. :)

    ReplyDelete
  57. Loved this. I was just talking with someone about this same thing. Thanks for the reminder after a rather tricky mothering day...

    ReplyDelete
  58. Wow. Just found your blog today (through handmade home) and I needed to read this so much. I don't think its a coincidence that I found it at all. I need to do so many of the things you mentioned, but I will focus first on being more present. That dang iphone is permantely attached to my hand and it is just ridiculous. And I want to pray more than just at bedtime. Thats something I;ve been thinking for a while and for some reason I haven't started doing it. What is a good age to start things like memorizing verses and things like that? My son will be 2 in sept and he doesn't talk all that much yet? But I want to start as soon as I can. Just not sure if now is too early. Anyway, thanks so much! And the books look great. There are several I want to order! You definitely have a new follower here! :)

    ReplyDelete
  59. Wow. On Rachel's article:

    "It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car."

    This was haunting.

    ReplyDelete
  60. wow. the part of Rachel's article where she says:

    "It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car."

    totally haunting.

    ReplyDelete

leave a message after the beep.