9 out of 10 bloggers around the world will tell you that the blogging world is "weird". i made that statistic up, but i stand behind it 100%, nkay? and ya, i agree...it totally is. you can spend 3 days straight surfing blogs and by the end of it, you feel like a bad wife or mom, or person in general because you aren't doing arts and crafts with your kids while cooking an amazing dinner you found on pioneer woman that morning...after your incredible 2 hour quiet time. no...that's not true. in fact, your kids are smearing play-doh into your carpet as you blog because it's keeping them quiet and you are trying to write down your feelings...you'll take what you can get.(truly, this is happening right now in my living room)
here's the problem people, blogs are like show and tell. you only put your best material out there, right? why would you write about the massive fight you had with your husband last night when instead, you can show us your cute kids and your new kitchen remodel? now listen, i'm not saying don't show those things...please do actually, this is the story of your life and those things are indeed interesting. great things happen in life. celebrate that. but bad things happen in life too, and when it comes to those things that create deep wounds, we shut down into ourselves and don't share. well maybe a vague side remark on facebook for 400 people to see... but not on my blog because it's too personal. oh and my grandmother is reading this. oh and some of my co-workers.
what would they think about me and my family if they read that my husband has problems with porn? yikes! or that i am lonely. whoa! or maybe that i struggle with my child that has a disability. what?! or hey, i found out that my husband had an affair. (yes, this last one did happen to me) jaw dropper! no, these are rarely the topics of blog posts...i've seen few, actually.
we have a complex about ourselves that people can not know the struggles we go through because we care about what opinions they may or may not form about our situation. they'll think i'm a bad mom. they'll think i'm not a good person. they'll think i'm not taking care of my husband. and the list goes on.
the problem is, when we write blog posts according to what others may think, we churn out watered-down versions of ourselves. we misrepresent ourselves and dare i say, if you are a christian, sometimes we can inadvertently misrepresent the Gospel. Jesus came because we are messed up, not because we have it all together. when we pretend like everything is perfect, we are doing a disservice to ourselves and to others. and to the story of our lives. your story is important...the good parts and the difficult parts. that's what makes a story good, right? conflict, love, overcoming hardships, tension, great happiness...all of it. ALL. OF. IT.
the blog world is weird because we all make it that way. i do too...yes, i'm writing this to me as well. i wouldn't say the blog world is a place where one goes to find honesty. that's hard enough to find in the real world, friends...let alone on the "intranet". but what if we started to create a bloggy world where people felt ok about posting their struggles? a she-did-it-so-can-i kind of attitude.
my hope is that people start telling the truth (*in as gracious a manner you can conjure)about what's going on in their lives. it's good. it's good for a people to put themselves on the line. it's called vulnerability and it is super-challenging. it brings about character and honesty. and it also brings people out of the woodwork saying, me too! i'm going through this too! because we are all going through something. no one is perfect. and people need others to say so.
now a little disclaimer, your blog is your blog. you can write whatever you want on there and seriously, that's great. i'd say it's better to be blogging only awesomeness than not blogging at all. my goal was to expose how much weight our words have and make us all examine why we blog what we blog. and i'm kind of projecting how i wish the blog world worked... a girl can dream...
*also, second disclaimer: there are ways to say what you want to say in a gracious manner. your goal is not to harm others with your words, even if they've hurt you or you feel super passionate about something. so for example, say you want to talk about your love for butter... statements like, all people that use crisco are most likely going to hell, are not kind nor do they make anyone want to use butter instead. a gracious way to say how you feel would be, i prefer to put natural products in my body as opposed to things my liver has a hard time processing...yadda yadda.
see, we can be nice AND honest. but did you like my plug for natural products?? i'm good like that.
now overall, did i offend you? i hope so. L to the O to the L. not really...but i do hope that if you are offended by this post, you can tell me. we can talk it out and i will still be your friend.