Thursday, December 9, 2010

16 weeks, players.

here are some snapshots of the belly i took just minute ago. the kids are napping, my house is a mess, but i'd rather take stupid pictures than tend to any home-makin'. 16 weeks!
Photobucket

this week has suh-ucked. the kids got a weird bug that included throwing up and diarreah. this would be fine if we didn't have to get our passports this week.my fabulous in-laws are taking us to mexico next month.  that means, all 4 of us have to go to the post office..together. this is halfway my fault because i procrastinated. but i've also been sick. so whatever. anyway, here's a tidbit of what happened at the post office:
-layne laid on the dirty P.O. floor while we got the paperwork together.

-after paperwork was signed, daddy had to leave...me with both sick children to finish up important paperwork. what a dream! how could anything go wrong?

Photobucket

-layne sharted (diarreah squirt) in his pants immediately following daddy walking out the door.how many times do i have to tell that guy that if you think it's a toot, when you're sick...there's no safe tooting.

-layne yelled, ohhhhhhh, i pooped in my pants again! daddy's gonna be so mad...he's gonna spank me! (this is in front of, OH, 25 people in line). for the record, layne has never been spanked for pooping in his pants. so we look like abusive parents...

-grand total for expediting 3 passports, including some delicious photos ,where i look like a crack whore, for the passport: $581. merry christmas children, looks like you get a passport wrapped up real pretty-like on christmas morn. dammit to hell. that doesn't include the $60 i had to pay for new birth certificates for myself and lila.

-we walk out the door and stop to look at a store front window. layne wants to look at the dinonsaur inside...i say ok. he knows we aren't buying it. when we leave the store, on a busy sidewalk...layne yells...i pooooooooped again mom. it's squishy in my pants! 5 people are staring at me. i'm all...HA, silly guy...let's get in the car and go home(literally 1 minute away). layne's like, i can't sit in my poop! people are staring at me. but i had no other options. he sat in his poop until we got home. where i spanked him for accidentally pooping in his pants. not really!

the day before, lila threw up twice in the car when we went to the DMV. we smelled like banana throwup. nato lost his wallet in the crack in the desk where you take pictures. we got it back though...after 15 minutes of sticking things in the freaking crack. anyway,  i thought i had covered up(with makeup?) the fact that i hadn't slept in the past 3 nights b/c of the sickly children. but no, when i got my picture taken, it surely showed up in all it's glory. luckily the picture is super small. and i get to keep it for 4 long years. boo.

i leave you with this picture: we can watch how large but butt gets during this pregnancy. fun!
Photobucket

44 comments:

  1. Why are you so funny? Really, I want to know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow that take the cake for super crappy day! hope those kids get better and on the bright side you are cute pregnant.
    and btw your house can't be that messy your bed is made in all the pics! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh.
    my.
    gosh.
    i'm so sorry. now i'm no longer mad at you for being m.i.a. :)
    no really, i'm truly sorry you had to deal with all of that. not fun.
    hopefully the trip to mexico will be worth it and you won't bring home "montazuma's revenge"...
    also you're belly is awesome. your photos made me laugh, especially the one with your leg hiked up on the bed and the thumbs up. i do that pose all the time, thought i was the only one...
    love,
    jenn

    ReplyDelete
  4. your belly has grown since i saw you like two days ago. sucker! i wish i could've been there to see layne yell those things. of course i would've pretended that i didn't know you. i would've thrown horrendous glares your way along with every other old lady there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jami. Holy crap. I love your stories. Why do children insist on LAYING on disgusting public floors? Mine prefer the post office floor as well. Sick. You may look like a crack whore in your passport photo but I look like a stoner in mine...then again it was taken in college... ;) Thanks for the baby bump photos, they're just your style. :) And you still look adorable even though you tried not to. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. i must apologize for laughing at your trauma. also, huge thanks for knowing that i needed a day brightener like this one :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. i don't even know what to say to that. holy freakin' moly. you need a drink...oh wait, you don't drink. oh wait you're pregnant. you need some m&m's.

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1) Your bump is crazy adorable.
    2) I'm laughing so hard I almost sharted. Totally kidding & gross.
    3)Viva Mexico!

    Hope everyone is back to normal real soon!

    ReplyDelete
  9. sharted? wow i had absolutely no idea there was a word for that. can i just say i have never had to resist the urge to stalk someone so badly. seriously you had me at your halloween post.. which i think was the first one i read. it's not stalking if i show up in your town and wait to accidentaly bump into you right? preferably on a day your kid doesn't crap his pants. okay thanks. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. ughhhhh. let's hope next week's better then this one. :) this is a story you'll have to tell layne's girlfriend someday, definitely.

    you probably went to the post office on 63rd, right? I go there every. single. day. well, work day. anyways, the other day I was checking our po box and there was a lady in line who I THOUGHT could seriously maybe possibly be you, PLUS she had a little girl with her! I stalkerishly walked over to check it out... wasn't you. obviously.

    or maybe it was the day layne was pooping and I figured it would be better to ignore you, that's also a possibility. KIDDING. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. bhahhaha

    i am so sorry layne and lila were puking and pooping everywhere. but, it made for some super funny stories…

    your baby bump pictures are to die for. i can't decide if i like the squatting one or the butt one better. i think i'm gonna go with the butt one, yes…definitely the butt one.

    and quit spanking your kids when they poop their pants!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank you for making me laugh... not at you, but with you, only because I've SO been there many times myself. In fact I'm pretty sure I was there all last week! :) Hopfully all of your bad luck is behind you, and you can enjoy Mexico with smooth sailing!

    ReplyDelete
  13. wow...yet another hilarious mom moment. still laughing, but i'm allowed. been there done that. my lovely experience was in the grocery store with a new born explosion. I had to grab a box i found on the aisle and hold it under my little bundle of joy. geh-tto! I left my cart and ran for the car. can we say clean up on aisle 5???

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh no! Good things he's young, pooping your pants just gets worse the older you get.

    You are such a trooper Jami and that baby bump is the freaking cutest thing ever. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  15. today hasn't been my day, but doesn't sound quite as bad as that. you win :o). hope everyone gets to feeling great soon!

    ReplyDelete
  16. bwhahaha oh this post is definitely one of my favorites. I love your stories. and that is a ridiculous amount of money for freakin passports! crazzzy!! it will be worth it though when you're laying on the beach. Promise!

    Oh, and you look so stinkin cute with your little belly. LOve it!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I feel bad for laughing at this post because I would have been cussing (in my head of course) and angry if it was me.
    Passports are awful, It's kind of weird to me though that you say yours is only for 4 years. Mine is for 10...and now that you have a passport you can come to Peru and visit. (after little nato is born of course) think how fun that would be!

    ReplyDelete
  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jami-
    I stumbled across your blog after reading a comment that you had left on my sister's blog, (Kelsey Kautzi, make way for the awesome kid :)) and dang. you're funny. i seriously laughed out loud more than a few times reading this particular entry. i love it. you have yourself a dedicated blog reader in this girl. (provided you don't mind randos reading your blog)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wow, this was a fantastic post! Real life Jami, I love it. I don't love it that you had that kind of a day. But I love it that you tell about real life and put off trying to be perfect and have fun with pics. You are the coolest, and I can't believe I haven't seen you and now we live closer, ugh!
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. so, my husband didn't think it was as funny, but I laughed pretty hard.

    ReplyDelete
  22. At least your misfortunes make for very entertaining blogging. :) So sorry for you! But you look super cute in those pictures.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Holy crap. I haven't laughed that hard in a reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaally long time. You stinkin' kill me. You really know how to keep it real, my friend:)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Is it bad that I thought your horrible day made me laugh out loud? No, actually, it's not because it's not fair that you look that cute at 16 weeks pregnant. I guess we can call it even.

    (i hope your brood is feeling better asap!)

    ReplyDelete
  25. kids screaming they pooped their pants is always hysterical...except when it's yours, i guess. cute bump!

    ReplyDelete
  26. aw, that sounds like some true craziness!

    ReplyDelete
  27. It's nice to know that there are other mothers out there suffering from the things their kids say in public.

    Love the bump!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Jami...after a long day with my kids (well, one kid especially)...this made me both want to laugh and cry at the same time. There's something about reading another person's misery and craziness that makes me feel such strong emotios. You look cute by the way...and in some odd way it makes me want another baby....what??? Anyway, I love you butt picture...that is totally what I need to do next time. :)

    Krista

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh NO! I'm laughing so hard....and feeling so thankful it didn't happen to me!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Laughing silently with tears b/c there is a sleeping baby on my boob. Yeah I said it.
    I FINALLY found those flippin' birds you posted about from Michael's today and as I am checking out my mom says I could make them out of cereal boxes. Well MOM I am buying them b/c that funny girl on her blog made some cute stuff with them and I am too.
    That's all for now. I'll be sure to share whatever I make whenever I do.

    ReplyDelete
  31. hope everyone is feeling better!! Love your photos and the funny writing!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. I made the mistake of reading this at work today...I was laughing out loud when I should have been pretending to work. It was definitely a dull day in the office until I read your post, so thank you for having the ability to make me laugh. You are awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Brian and I laughed so hard reading this because we totally picture it and can hear Layne. What else can you do but laugh. Isnt it great that us moms always get stuck with the kids in public acting up!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Love this. So brutal, but so, so true. I may or may not have been puked on last night(my son was laying on top of me)...in my face mind you, caked into my hair, down my shirt, wrapped into the little crevices of my scarf...it was also super fab. Gotta love the sickness.

    You are the best. Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I jumped here because Emily recommended you. I'm sorry I was laughing hysterically at your misfortune. You should blame Emily - she linked your blog! Hope everything is better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  36. omg. that was hilarious! great baby bump pics, too!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Found you thru Emily's blog :)))) SO happy I did!! Happy Monday!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I laughed so hard that my husband had to get in on it too, then the baby started clapping. Also, I am jealous that you look so cute at 16 weeks. I looked like the Creature from some Lagoon starting at week 4 on. I only managed to try to keep it together once a week for church. Bleh sickness (no motivation) and 45 lbs in 5 months (oh em gee. nothing fits). Excited for you!

    ReplyDelete
  39. This is sooooo funny! We've had the flu bug here too, but no family trips to the post office.

    ReplyDelete
  40. What? You're preggers. I didn't know. Darn that Bethany for not informing me of this. OK just so you know I was laughing out loud at the ummm, let's call them "squatting" pictures. What was up with that? Practice for labor?! Hilarious! And just so you know, if I was as cute and as skinny as you while preggers, I would have had a fourth. Keep those preggo pictures coming...ok, maybe no more squatting pictures though. That could get a little uncomfortable the further along you get.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh my goodness, Rylee is sleeping and Im shooting yogart out my nose laughing trying not to be loud and wake her. You crack my happy a double hocky sticks up! I loved your latest about being honest. Thanks for that too.

    ReplyDelete
  42. You are hysterical! I talk like you in my head...but somehow it doesn't translate as funny on my blog...boo!

    ReplyDelete

leave a message after the beep.