Monday, October 18, 2010

i have a bone to pick. and a winner to announce.

and the winner of the giveaway for 2 yards of fabric and burpcloths is....
MOMDIGGITY! no doubt...(i was singing the song, doubt. get it?). i'll get this stuff to you ASAP.

moving on, i read this advice in a section of  parents magazine (november 2010)a couple days ago and it truly pissed me off. see what you think.(and fyi, SAHD means stay at home dad)


i just have so many bones to pick with this article. first, the picture. women clammering over this stay at home dad who is giving his affections away to other women. ya, NO. BLAAAA! i just threw up on all of them.

second, how the hell does this stay at home dad know he "would never actually cheat"? few are the people who knew their flirting would get them into trouble. anyway, how does he think affairs start? you're asking a mom if she has a wipe you can borrow and then you're having sex with her? no, it starts with little things like flirting, dumb-ass(that was mean, i shouldn't have called him that. sorry everyone). actually, it starts with a jacked up heart that thinks it's ok to flirt with someone you're not in a relationship with. can you tell this pisses me off? ha, i was trying not to be so obvious.

annnnnnnnnnd another thing...the columnist gives the husband advice not to tell his wife that he ENJOYS flirting with other woman. who in turn, LOVE flirting with him. hmmm, reciprocal flirting...where could this lead? call me a sarcastic smarty pants, but that sounds dangerous. then judy gives advice to turn this flirting towards his wife "in the bedroom". which kind of sounds a way... but really, is not. this guy is going to bring his dysfunction right into their home without being honest about what he did "on the playground" that day. that is not my idea of intimacy. and BTdub, 20 bucks says he aint thinkin' about you, sister, when ya'll are intimate. just sayin.

i wish judy would have asked this guy to think about whether he would like to know if his wife was flirting at the workplace. um, simple answer. you bet he would want to know. you bet there would be a discussion about that behavior ASAP. you bet that would hurt his feelings and anger him. why? because it's wrong.

there is a reason affairs are so prevalent in our society. we are bombarded with images of infidelity in almost every sitcom, movie, joke, and advertisement. then, knit-wits like judy (who are trusted advisers)give advice condoning budding infidelity. oh my gross.

call me passionate about this subject, but i've seen what infidelity does to a family. although it looks fun and harmless, it is the ugliest act of betrayal you can put your spouse through. it scars children and families, and creates a hideous legacy for your sons and daughters. it breaks spirits and breaks relationships, and most of all, it breaks God's heart. he made marriage for a reason. a great reason. and the reason is not to "harmlessly" give your affections to other people. it's just ridiculous.

i encourage all of you to seek out where your affections are outside of your marriage. if you are flirting with someone at your work place, at the park, at the coffee shop, with your neighbor...stop it. it's going to harm you in ways you can't imagine. one better, tell your spouse and repent. if you can't be honest in your marriage, something is wrong. get into counseling ASAP. make an effort to make your marriage work. honor your spouse with honesty, not secrets.

this concludes my rant on ridiculous articles i read in magazines.

carry on.


  1. Do you watch Parenthood? One of the characters is a SAHD and had a storyline similar to this... kind of. ALSO. I am being a great teacher and tutoring students after school and COLORBLIND started blaring. WHOOPS.

  2. Amen to that. That article totally sucked...everything about it. bleh!

  3. I totally agree. I really feel like throwing up on that magazine with you right now.

    Have you ever listened to Mark Driscoll? I think we talked about him...anyway he is totally against sahd's and I agree.

  4. um, i'm about to go pick a bone with parents magazine. biotches, why would they post such heinous crap?

    i'm piss-ed.

  5. Read in a "Working Mothers" magazine that it is totally ok, normal, AND healthy to picture yourself having sex with someone other than your spouse while making love. I was appalled and disgusted. Affairs begin in the mind....

  6. disgusted about that article. who the hell made her a "trusted advisor" ?! yes, folks, "don't ask, don't tell" is actually the best thing for your marriage. need to respond to her article personally, Jami...

  7. so, i wrote parents a nasty email. also, while i was on their site, i entered to win a free i-pad.


    but for reals, if you want to write to them too its:

    do it!

  8. this article doesn't surprise me in the least bit. and i totally agree with you Jami. i'm going to write them an email AND enter to win a free i-pad as well. thanks for the tip Em!

  9. emily, you freaking make me LMAO. guess can actually contact Judy!

    i will contact her when i can be a touch more gracious. give me a day to simmer down.

  10. please tell me you wrote this judy/dumb buns. just copy and past this post. hopefully conviction will sit well with her.

  11. CALLED THEM OUT, BOO YAH. The Bible says that fools make a mock at sin, and that is what this article is doing. HA ha, sinning is funny and won't hurt anyone! HA ha. Oh wait. Couldn't be further from the truth.BLURG. Thanks for sharing this.

  12. AMEN to you sweet friend and AMEN to Audrey & Emily. Write this chic & send her this blog post. Send it to every freakin' person at Parents while you are at it. Everyone needs to read this post. People are way to comfortable this day with being "just friends" with the opposite sex and it drives me crazy.


  13. Preach on sister! I don't know who the bigger fool is...the SAHD or the idiot giving advice! Yes, sucky article!!!!

  14. I agree totally Jami. the picture totally turns me off. Not only the man liking it, but the shameless women flirting with this man. I saw a dad at monkey buzziness the other week with his child, and thankfully there were no women flirting with him, actually no one really talked to him prob bc of the fear of coming across as such. I also totally 100% agree that flirting is not harmless. It is dangerous, I know.

  15. First of all...I WON!!!!?????? WAHOO!!! Can't wait to get my hands on my loot.

    Second of all...Preach it sister. I can't believe anyone would think that would be good advice to dish out to the masses. RIDICULOUS.

  16. That article is crap! Enough said.

  17. I don't really know what to say because you pretty much already said EVERYTHING that was on my mind. I hope you DO respond to anyone and everyone involved with this article. And I love that you are so passionate (how could you not be?) and open about telling people the way it is. I feel the same and have no shame in expressing exactly what I think. "Judy" has obviously never had an unfaithful spouse or parent. That would change her mind REAL quick.

  18. love this was well-deserved. i am so done with all of the lies. so grieved by so many things in our culture. how does this type of thing get pulished? reminds me of something i read on the planned parenthood teens site that said porn, or "erotica" as they preferred to call it, was okay and could even be good as long as you don't get obsessed with it. (and our tax dollars pay for that crap)

  19. first, congratulations to your winner!
    Second, great rant. I second EVERYTHING you said. BOTH sides are guilty in adultery--no matter what their status. If they're married, they made a vow and THEY and OTHER PEOPLE need to respect that. Period. And if you don't want to fall off a cliff, you stay off the edge. The Bible says we're supposed to RUN from sexual temptation--God knows how dangerous and destructive it can be and it's the only sin he tells us to do that with. For good reason. As you said.

  20. There's a SAHD down the street from me and he creeps me out!!! His poor wife looks haggard & tired all the time working FT to support the family while he "volunteers" at the school & schedules "playdates" with other moms& kids after school. So wrong.

  21. the scariest thing is that anyone with a guilty heart will use this to justify their behavior. "well, it's published, so it must be okay."

    problem is, soooo many things are completely subjective. if judy's okay with the idea of this in her home/marriage, more power to her. but don't think for a second that everyone has the same values, and ESPECIALLY don't think that all of the spouses of the people that read this article appreciate the go-ahead to possibly start an affair or any variation thereof. (longest run-on ever, i know)

    judy's never been cheated on, obvs.

    thanks for getting my blood moving this morning, jami :)

  22. Amen and Amen! Let me know when you take over the magazine.

  23. Forgive me if I get up on a teeny bit of a soapbox here, but who even coined the term SAHD? What a disgrace. Maybe this is a bit judgemental, but any man that allows the burden of responsibility to be on his wife ought to be ashamed of himself. I don't care if he is taking care of the kids. It's just not how things are supposed to work. (No pun...really. :) ) A mom that agrees to it? A dad that's ok with it? They all need counseling! My fee is $85 per session... :)

  24. Infidelity...I about have 0% tolerance for it pretty much all my life. Why, because I have 8 half siblings out there from my father. He left my mom when I was 4 and my brother was 2, cheating throughout the entire marriage. I don't think he understands what he has put all his children through (all 10 of us...that we know of).

    I can't believe this article and our society who takes this so lightly.

  25. I just came across your blog today. I walked through numerous acts of infidelity with my now ex-husband and have zero tolerance for it. It destroys hearts and spirits and families everyday. I'm 10 years on the other side of it, and unfortunately he chose to walk away from God and his family and never look back, and I'm forced to face what it did to our family every day as we work out custody and visitation and all of the ugliness that comes with it.

    I am so blessed with a husband now whose heart I pray to be guarded on the daily. We've had the flirting conversation with many couple friends and my hubs says it best, "Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin." It's a step onto a slippery slope.

    The more we excuse behavior like this, the easier we make the road to infidelity.


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