Thursday, July 15, 2010

the aftermath.

so it's done. i went to the doctor today and had another sonogram. where my sack grew again...what the cuss? my body is just moving along like it's creating a baby. someone has to say, 'no more, body. you're out of control and you're being very annoying.' so my fabulous doctor was like, we can do this today at 2 if you want.
um yes, i am ready to freaking move on.

and i hate to get all introspective on ya'll but, although this process of miscarrying has made me uncomfortable in so many ways. i'm glad we waited it out. i had some things in my heart that needed to get worked out the hard way. i needed to get sad and mad and then really be ready to move on. you know, the long and dusty road...or whatever introspective people say.
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now let's just talk about what happens at a d&c. this is the humorous version, as this is how i cope. (please don't be offended). you go in like an hour before where they prep you. give you an IV, ask you if you ate anything over and over again. that could be dangerous. and i forgot until afterwards that i ate a bite of a cupcake at 10am, but whatever, it turned out fine. and the bite of lemon cupcake was incredible, so i feel like it worked out to my advantage. a girl needs her sugar in such situations.

so i'm cracking all sorts of jokes. when i get nervous i try and do stand up comedy. or "lay in bed comedy". get it?! i really want these people to like me because they are going to be all up in my stuff. it's smart to get them on your good side. literally and figuratively.

i asked them to remove a couple moles while i was under for the 20 minutes. that was no go. my doc told me about how her husband was at the lake and a turtle bit off his mole in the water. that made me laugh. where can i find this turtle? and when she stopped laughing, i said, but seriously, where's the turtle. i'm trying to save money with all these medical bills.

i asked the 6 of them to give me whatever drugs they had in their pockets, as i wanted to be drugged before the process began. they laughed...but it could have been an awkward "that's illegal" laugh. at this point i didn't care...we were all close friends now. heck, i am naked in front of you all. how much closer can you get?

of course nato knew everyone in the surgicenter. it was like a high school reunion. how fun. except that i'm in a gown...with no bra and i'm nervously waiting to have a surgical procedure. wrap it up, people...fooooooooocus.

when they rolled me into the surgery room, i saw some stirrups that literally would suspend my legs into a weird pilates position above my head. at that point, i said, i want you all to lie to me about things i'm seeing in here. HELL NO i am not supposed to have my legs in those. the anesthesia guy said, oh, those are just coat racks. good one!
Photobucket (pictures by nato!)

as the medicine burned into my veins, they told me i was going to take a nap soon. i told them i was actually going to the beach and that i would not bring them back any souvenirs. and as everyone chuckled, i went to LaLa land. it was a very, very good nap. the doc gave me a lot of anti nausea medicine and she even put an anti nausea patch behind my ear so i wouldn't get sick the next day. they were so sweet, as they know i'm a sissy and i get sick easily.

when i came to and started talking normal, nato helped me get dressed and put a pad-a-roo in my underwares. i don't know why i expected him to know how to put a pad on my underwares, but i was on drugs and i trusted him with this task. he pulled up my pants and it looked like a giant surfboard was partly bulging out the front and top of my pants. it was incredible. we laughed so hard we were crying. i was crying a little because it hurt a little to laugh, but whatever. the nurse was standing behind the curtain listening to us and laughing as well. yes, laugh it up at my expense...i'm fine... needless to say, i fixed the giant pad properly so as to be able to walk with dignity through the waiting room and into my car.

i don't know what went on down there. i don't actually want to know...i'm just not that girl who wants the details. all i know is that i'm sore and crampy and ya...the stir ups combined with my non-inshape-ness makes for an all around uncomfortable situation down in my nether region. and yes, if you're wondering, i'm scared to take a number 2.

my kiddos were with my parents during the day and are spending the night at the natos. and my hubby is a regular tony danza...cooking, cleaning, rubbing my feet. that sweet man. we even have meals coming our way...well taken care of over here. thanks for all your prayers and care. we feel very loved.

and very blessed with our 2 babies. our 2 dancing babies. i've been meaning to post this video of the kids getting their grove on...which is funny because my bff just posted her kids dancing. we are 2 peas in a pod. (you'll have to turn the music off at the bottom of my blog)


18 comments:

  1. I have been there, dnc no fun at all, but it seems you took it with a good heart and a lot of humor. You will begin to feel better now and can move on. God has more plans for your family! LOVE

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  2. Hi Jami! so, NO we don't know each other but I love your blog and it is always SO encouraging. You make me laught SO HARD, and really? stand up? my bff and I always say we're doing stand up in akward situations. One time I had to have a cyst drained (while I was awake) in my "nether regions" as you say by a russian male doctor...I was cracking jokes the whole time. I am sad about the situation with losing the baby but I'm so encouraged by your attitude through all things. You are awesome!

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  3. why are you so funny? i can't stand it. glad you are being taken care of well. the video...oh layne...sweet moves.

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  4. oh, good luck with the #2...i know how much you love pooping.

    love you tons, bff.

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  5. omg, i just watched the video. it's like a mini mark and a mini jami dancing. she definitely has your (non) moves...while layne is grooving like mr. nato. pelvic thrusting. yes.

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  6. I'm glad you can finally start to move on. And I'm really glad your kids have such amazing dancing skills. Keep smiling friend...your honesty about all of this has been a real encouragement to me!

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  7. Oh Jami, so many things to say to you... One, I don't think I've ever laughed while reading about a D&C so thank you for that. Two, we are thinking about you and I'm glad you can move on now. Three, we watch LCS (last comic standing) every week and I seriously want you to try out for it. Four, hopefully we'll see you this weekend & that you're feeling better by then!

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  8. love the dancin', love your humor and your perspective on life. you make me laugh... i feel very selfish in our relationship because all you get from me are stupid email "what ups" and crazy stripper question answers. sorry 'bout that. i promise to evolve this side of the relationship :)
    love, jenn
    ps. really, those word verifications that you have to type in when you leave a comment are seriously annoying and they almost always sound like they could be a cuss word in another language.
    i.e. the word i have to now type is "sested" sounds strangely perverted.

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  9. i think you make a great stay in bed comedy.... you crack me up and your kids... well they make me laugh so hard i cry... seriously.... mad dance skills!

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  10. Holy cow. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out from laughing so hard. Between Nato putting a pad in your "underwares" and Layne's pelvic thrusts I'm going to pee in my pants any moment here. You make me laugh, friend.

    So glad all of this ick is done. Hope you feel 100% soon.

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  11. i'm with heather. laughing so hard i'm crying. jami, we love you! rest up friend.

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  12. Oh, how tough. But you can be funny while it's awful which is amazing and full of faith and awesome and beautiful.
    I'm glad your family is treating you so well.

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  13. so real...such perspective. always an encouragement.

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  14. Okay, I am literally laughing and crying sad tears at the same time. I love your humor. PRaying for your heart...

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  15. This comment is so late, but I hope that you are all healed up. I can't wait to see what God has in store for you next.

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  16. Wow, I along with everyone else am laughing so hard I'm crying and I actually peed a little! Girl, your attitude is amazing. Love the reality of your heart going through the sad and mad stages and seeing that you're handling it well. I miss you. Come visit us in FL when you're all better. :)

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  17. you are amazing.

    i am so excited to (hopefully) finally meet you at miss jordan's hitchin' place. i'm pretty positive we were meant to be friends.

    keep bringing the life lessons...

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  18. I have had a stillborn and a miscarriage and now have stage 3 breast cancer. I ALOT like you and laugh when I am sad or try to be a comedian as well. I think laughter is the best medicine. I remember when I had my D/C they were taking me to the surgery room and I was still awake they hadn't given me the sleepy cocktail and they wanted me to put my legs in the stirups and I said oh no I am not going to be exposed while I am awake. I have body issues and your view will have to wait :)

    I look forward to following you!
    Best of luck with the upcoming pregnancy!!

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