Thursday, April 29, 2010

parenting gracefully.what a thought.

you know when you're in target(the 8th time that week) and you hear shrieking children convulsing around in their cart, yelling i want goldfish! i want out of the cart! i don't like you! of course you go to the next isle to try and lessen the ridiculous screeching from those annoying children. man, that mom needs to spank her kids or something.

but then you look down. THOSE naughty children are in YOUR cart... and there is no escaping their wrath because you are out of toilet paper. and diapers. and you HAVE GOT to look in the one spot and see what the deals are.

or when your little girl gets in the fireplace, eats the soot, and then spreads it all around the living room? urg... you'll have to excuse the blurry pics, i was a touch angry and in a hurry to see what nastiness was in her mouth.

speaking of eating nastiness, i eat my words daily when it comes to parenting. before i had kids, i judged the mother's of the world daily. their children were throwing fits. their children were wearing ridiculous outfits. their children were eating crackers off the floor of the grocery store. their children were eating ashes out of a fireplace(ok, never that one). the list of what i would NEVER do was quite large. now those things happen to me, usually daily.

it's easy to forget the reason behind raising children when, as a mother, you do the same things over and over again...on little sleep...with lots to get done for the day. i read grace-based parenting by tim kimmel a long time ago when layne was going through his "demon possessed" stage right around 2. i have picked it up recently because i've needed a refresher course on being a gracious mother towards my children. i find myself very surprised at my 18 month old and almost 4-year-old's desire to be naughty daily. . oops, i mean hourly. a time out does the heart good, buddy.

so when i read this, it changed my paradigm a little.

the grace-based home assumes kids will struggle with sin and helps them to learn how to tap into God's power to help them get stronger...When their children do sin, grace-based parents don't get surprised. they expect it. they assume sin is an ongoing dilemma that their children must constantly contend with.

if God our heavenly Father is the perfect father, and the primary way that He deals with us as humans is through the power of His grace, it stands to reason that grace forms the best template for bringing out the best in our own children.

i need to do a better job of mirroring that kind of love to my children.

now where in this book is the section on soot clean-up?


  1. 3 things...
    1. lila. oh my word.
    2. i wonder what layne was thinking when you told him to go to timeout and then took a picture of him.
    3. amen.

  2. i was just thinking about this...oh, what a good reminder. here are the things i would "NEVER do or let happen" before i had multiple kids: have a child fall down the stairs (3 have), have a kid write on my walls (my 3rd did), have a kid escape from the house and not know it (my 3rd as well) have a kid who moons people (my 2nd) have a back-talking 7 yo...the list goes on and on...they give us lots of opportunities to grow in grace. that is good, b/c as much as I have received, i'd better be able to give it out!

  3. Holy smokes those pics of Lila are precious. Glad you posted them! I think it's hilarious that you take pics of your kids in time-out=)

    Love the quote from the books - sounds like a keeper!

  4. I think I need that book. I'm totally there with the whole used-to-judge-the-parents-I'm-just-like thing Target has become a once or twice a week think because of my kids and I'm still afraid the target employees think "oh no, here they come again"

  5. just got that book "grace-based parenting", and i definitely need to read it. soon. gotta love those days when they make us practice grace based parenting. it's good for us right? :)what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! love, jenn

  6. Lila, naughty????? Say it isn't so!!!! I thought she would fly right over that stage. The pic of Layne is awesome. Glad to know I'm not the only one that takes pics of my child when they're in the midst of a meltdown.

  7. Oh yeah, I have been there. I have seen all of those faces and swallowed many of my pre-mom thoughts and preconceptions. Your post NAILS how I now feel about my kids and discipline!

  8. Thanks for the reminder to be a mama who shows grace - it's a great time for it too being Mother's Day week! :)

  9. Hey Jami,

    Good to see you again at church. Loving this post. It really speaks to my heart and it helps to know that my child isn't the only devious one out there. :)



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