Tuesday, September 1, 2009

where the wild things are: preschool

our day started out in typical fashion; lila was eating leaves and layne was trying to ride her. they were both happy. one was happy to be going to preschool and the other just happy because she is a kaola bear.

once again, as seen in the pictures, layne was being his typical self--bossing nato around saying, "it''s time to settle down, daddy. n'kay? we need to settttttttle down." he heard it from a mom standing next to us and then repeated it to us of course.

so everything felt like it was going to be normal. until layne entered the class and immediately went to the binoculars and magnifying glasses--which he is obsessed with. he loves goggles and sunglasses so this doesn't surprise me. the teacher was coralling the children to circle time and when she came to gather layne, he let out a pterodactyl scream in defiance. i was about to rip the binoculars out of his claws and give him a good old fashion pinch, but the teacher said with a smile, "maybe he'll do better if you're gone."

point taken. so i leave. but i peek. and there he is in the middle of the circle with all the kids sitting down around him--with the sour-i-est face i've ever seen. it was a half mad, half scared monster face.

i left feeling concerned--but talked myself down. he'll be fine. he always settles down. drown your worries at hobby lobby. so we went crafting.

at 11:00(an hour and a half after i dropped him off, mind you) my phone rings. it's the preschool of course. layne is having a hard time--he pottied through two outfits and is crying outside on the playground. maybe you should come early.

when i arrived he was on the playground, under a patio table laying flat on his stomach...screaming. when he ran towards me i noticed the glaring pee splotch on the front of his sweat pants.
i'm holding lila, trying to hold layne and console him too...slightly sweating and feeling terrible for the teachers. but mostly for layne. he was so nervous and overwhelmed, he peed his pants. and then he probably was so mad about peeing his pants that he peed them again. the humanity...

poor guy. let's hope thursday is better.

and since we're talking about first's...lila ate her first handful of dog food this morning. these are the times when you thank your culinary convictions that made you pay big bucks for organic dog food --which doesn't contain weird animal parts and trash swept from the dog food factory's floor, mmm-kay? research it.

so let's recap my crappy day:

--lila eats dogfood
--layne pees twice at school and acts like a "wild thing"
--i have to stop shopping at hobby lobby to pick up aforementioned "wild thing"
--huxley has dingleberries

so ya, i feel like i suck as a mom and a dog owner. but it was funny at least and i can tell layne's future girlfriends all about this. boo-ya!


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9 comments:

  1. WoW!! i cried from laughing soo hard =) mannn he truly had a memorable first day!! my fave was him lying down under the patio table screaming..

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  2. Awww....poor baby! That makes me so sad. I hope Thursday goes better for him! As a teacher, the kids do usually calm down after they adjust a bit. If all else fails, I'd say keep him home. Preschool is not mandatory for a successful life.

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  3. i think that i just peed my pants. twice.
    that was the funniest first day of school story ever.


    and on a sidenote...do you really buy organic dog food for your stinky little mut?

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  4. i'm so sorry to laugh at your expense but that was seriously too funny. poor layne... i hope he does better next time. and do the dingleberries have anything to do with the organic dog food or did i forge a connection that wasn't there? you're not a great mom if you can't laugh at these days... so obviously, you're a great mom :) and you're an even better mom for photo documenting the eventful day!
    love, jenn

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  5. oh my word! the worst thing i ever had a kid do was throw up on the first day of school. poor layne. if you want, you can bring him to 4th grade. i'll put him to work entertaining my 27 kiddos. they'd love him.

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  6. You ROCK as a mom because you can have a sense of humor about it. He will do fine on Thursday and David will protect him on the playground so he doesn't have to hide under patio tables anymore. LOVE YOU!

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  7. I love that picture of lila...such a hippie...just as it should be!

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  8. Classic! I'll pray that tomorrow goes better...but secretly hope that at least one funny thing happens so that you can blog about it.

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  9. So can I be one of those people that laughs at poor Laynes misfortune??? I'm kind of a jerk like that...I also laugh when people fall. I can't help it. Don't get me wrong, I totally feel awful for him (and you, too), but I'm laughing while I feel awful. Am I a bad person? By the way, the pic of Layne riding Lila is pretty stinkin' awesome, too.

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