layne had a little presentation to do last week for what was called "cultural day". basically, each child talked about where he or she comes from. of course it was in french so i had no idea what anyone was saying, except for little words like, saus-seege and I-reesh bread.
it was adorable. but let's get real, even if kids are giving presentations in english you can only understand a good 20% of what's going on.
when i sat there, i couldn't help but be thankful for layne's teacher. it's important to note that at the beginning of the year, i disliked this teacher. like pretty hard core. so much so that i sent him a mean email that would be embarrassing to post here. no. let me stand in shame! one line stated,
his teacher is very firm. and calls the students to a standard that is difficult to adjust to- particularly for a child that comes from an unstructured mother... who is often reminded by her child that the project is due tomorrow. what?! i mean, I know. i totally knew that. let's run to the craft store really quick like i planned to do. because i'm good at remembering, my child.
when i met with the teacher to "throw punches", i realized he was a good man. he didn't do things like me and that was actually good(go figure!). my hands went from punching position to tear drying position. i was moved by his story, his passion for teaching, and his genuine love for my son.
my child who doesn't like to read turned into a reader this year. and i didn't know that a 2nd grader could do 5th grade math, but i guess they can.
my math hater turned into a math lover. (at this point our math level is the same! seriously, only a few select can take college algebra 3 times in college. )
not because of me, but because of a man who believed that my child could learn to love learning. that's very humbling considering this year i've really struggled with sending layne to school all day to some stranger. i can do it better, right? i need to be in control, right?
but then i realize that i'm not. and that it is good-- yes, public schooling has been good. that we've had wonderful conversations about interactions with classmates that were hurtful or amazing...we've all been stretched in more ways than we can count. that stranger is a believer and God has been kind to put him in our lives.
all from a situation where i thought i knew best. (and did not)
i know we're talking about a 2nd grader but we're talking about me too. God provides in strange ways and answers prayers differently than i'd imagined because he understands the big picture. all the percents. i'm the one listening and watching God's performance and all i can understand is 20% (ok, fine, much less). he is baffling and amazing all at the same time. i look at mr. F and i see God's goodness and provision in a year full of questions rolling around in my heart.
dad: remember when you used to not like Mr. F?
layne: i really love him. i prayed for mr F to be less strict and it worked, dad!
dad: do you think maybe God just changed your heart and made you love him?
me: remember how we pray in the morning for God to help you love mr.F like He loves mr. F?
layne: ya. WAIT, YA! that's cool.
why does God even care? what must He be like?